My now husband and I talked a lot in the beginning while dating, about where we came from and how it made us who we are and how that might work or not work in our relationship. How each of us parented was a huge factor, and our ex’s influence in our household and the challenges to our children in the new blended environment. We made an educated decision to commit to the obvious challenges and to each other. Thirteen years later, we are the wiser and more appreciative of our love and commitment to each other than we could have imagined.
I have always told my kids “everybody has their shit, it’s just a matter of if their shit stinks to you or not”. A person’s baggage may smell bad to one person and not another. Always be open to the adventure and even if it doesn’t work with someone, there is always an opportunity to learn from people. Everyone has at least one golden nugget to offer if you’re looking for it.
Some of the red flags and baggage you are born with, or are handed to you without your choosing. I would venture to say all people can benefit from being self-aware of how they show up in life and have room for growth.
Having red flags does not mean they should not be considered or that they are not capable of deeply loving and being loved, they should not be punished for this or weeded out.
People should allow for some human variances, so that other amazing people who grew up differently than you, can still have a chance at an amazing loving relationship.
There is no perfect way to pick the perfect partner, or many intelligent scholars would’ve figured out how to do it, many years ago.
There is, I believe, still some divine intervention in some ways - people who are brought into your life at different points, for different reasons, that you cannot predict - and you cannot ignore. Someone who will love you in more ways than you ever thought possible - and will love you forever, even if they are not in your life forever.
Always be open to the unpredictable options and possibilities of this amazing journey called life, you might be surprised at what you are capable of achieving.
My programs were researched and designed for people who have been married for a while and want to rejuvenate what they have as well as amazing people who have red flags or baggage - how to recognize it, and learn the skills to help each other work through it.